It is time to, once again, discuss retail etiquette.

Some of you just don't get it.

A retailer is in business to make money. They are not trying to "ruin your family's holiday". Just because we don't have the special sauce cousin Billy Bob wants to inject into your turkey, doesn't mean that we really do have it. We just have it all in the backroom where you can't go.

And Billy Bob will probably get drunked up on cheap beer anyway, and burn down your house. Order Domino's instead. (Hey!! There is another unsolicited plug for a national company. Though I remember when it was a regional group of stores. And when their pizza was good.)

Men. If you are going to come into the store with your wife, at least have enough class to push the cart. I have seen way too many pudgy bellied men walking beside their wives as their wives pushed heaping shopping carts of food. Give me a break. Get some balls and be a part of what is going on.

When you approach an associate with a question, form the question properly. I had a guy come up to me, barely even look at me, and bark "stuffing". What the hell? The proper thing would have been to say "Hi, can you tell where the stuffing is?" Instead, I had to mess with him. For about 5 minutes, making him very not happy. Me, par for the course.

And here is one that is making me crazier as we go on. Heelys. A grocery store is not a place for your kid to skate around on his/her heelys. There are a lot of people walking around in the store, there are a lot of displays out there, and face it, your kid is not the most coordinated. I understand the whole concept of getting right back on the horse, but when you wipe out 4 times in a 20 foot space, you got some problems.

Lots more to come over the next few days, just thought I would whet your appetite.

Namaste.